When I laid down last night (around 1am), I realized that I have been talking about the challenges and the struggle of this fast for 4 days. I have not talked about the good stuff. This morning, before I get out of bed to make morning juice (maybe apple-pineapple-blackberry), I want to share the positives.
1. Switching focus off temptation and craving - now I know that I have written extensively about temptation and craving, and how both have been there for me these past days, but where I used to look and look at something to decide if it is worth eating/tasting/just smelling, I don't do that at all now. I switch gears and do something else. Yesterday it was beginners pilates. At work, it is cleaning out my mailboxes.
2. General knowledge of health - I don't know at this point if it is the avoidance of dairy, meat, or wheat, but I know I feel better. Aside from the tree allergies kicking in, I feel good. I know that I have not been getting the fresh veggies in mass amounts in a long time. I know they are good for me, but many times they are just salad or cooked, but never my only food, and I know the lettuce and tomato on a sandwich or burger does not count toward raw veggies. Now, I am confident I am getting vitamins and minerals without taking them in pill form.
3. Confidence - Every day, every hour really, that I stick-to, my self confidence increases. Now, I have done a 9 day fast before, though it was chemical and you ate salad once a day on the 5 days in the middle, and could have 2 almonds to chew on during fasting days. I stuck to it and it was hard, but I never felt like it did anything for my esteem. Right now, I feel good more than I feel hungry.
4. Weight Release - This is the part where I talk about where I started at and how much weight I lost so far, but instead of focusing on that, I will instead say that I have seen the scale decrease. I have lost about 12 pounds, though how much was water and how much was fat, I don't care. It feels like some sort of crash diet, but it is not. I don't really feel I am denying myself; I am just on a fast for a set number of days, and my only decisions about what to eat (some of the worst decisions as I never could decide) is not so hard: what veggies are going in the juicer?
5. Reflection - I have had more time these past weeks to really focus on changing habits and the journalism questions about my relationship with food and my body. The Who/What/Where/When/Why/How of it all, that I keep in my moleskin journal, apart from this blog, has given me a project and a focus. We often try to do everything at once. We are living in the multitasking generation. But this brings me to my next post.