Friday, April 30, 2010

Day 39: After the juice settles...

Apple pear juice sounds good. Heck it tastes good.  It doesn't, however, look real good. By the time I rode to work, the yummy of the juice turned into brown with flecks of ick. No matter. I am used to juice settling, oxidizing, and generally funktifying over the course of an hour or more. That strange separation between church and state happening in a bottle is very odd, but a shake and a straw are all I need to get by.

I am in the middle of a bottle of gherkin spinach apple romaine lettuce celery juice. It is surprisingly sweet, especially because I only put 1 granny smith into it. (I think my taste buds are freaking out.)

In other news....I am happy that the days are counting down till summer. I am tired of surprise cold days. Today it looks promising, and tomorrow should be in the mid 80s (or 28C for you others). I want to soak up the sun....(and yes, I am singing that Sheryl Crow song right now.)

Catch you later with something more interesting (maybe).

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Day 38: Evening Folks.

I had squash cucumber asparagus bok choy juice for lunch, it was a touch bitter, but I think that was residual OJ taste from breakfast. In all I feel great, but wish I could have a salad. For dinner I had young coconut water.  I was thinking about juicing the hot dog and fries Leo had for dinner (OK, not really).

My headache is gone (thank god). I went to the optometrist to get my eyes looked at. Apparently I am near and far sighted. Haha. I think this may be one thing that juicing can't make better. Ah well. I hear there are exercises to help strengthen your vision. Maybe I will try that....well, maybe one day. I just ordered glasses and contacts so I'd like to get my moneys worth.

I hear they are screening the film that started it all for me, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, in Nutley May 10th, and in Manhattan May 12th. I will post details when I get them.

Day 38: Morning Kids!

This goes out to Michelle, because she was nice enough to ask...

One thing I miss besides eating, is cooking. I miss cooking a lot sooo much.  I love making concoctions and recipes and hodge-podge creations for dinner, and I miss making tomato sauce and pot roast and all those weekend cooking things.  It doesn't make sense to make a pot roast for my husband, nor can I take making a pot roast for people at all. I have gone other places where there is food, but it is 100 times harder at home because when I cook, I taste. I cook, I hunger, I taste, I really hunger, and I eat the masterpiece. It is hard times when you are fasting. However, I can do dinner for one often enough because I have been cooking for him for 12 years and I know what he will eat and what he won't. I know how to whip up a quick sauce and make pasta well enough that I don't need to taste it.  It is not my favorite meal, so no harm. I love the smell of the long-simmered sauce, so I haven't made that yet.  I have defrosted several of my frozen home-made sauces since I started, so when I am eating again, I will have to replensih the stock.

I also can make all kinds of chicken dishes. I love them,  but two breasts in a pan with seasoning over rice with a side of corn is fine for the hubby. The other night I made caramelized shallots with garlic, lots of fresh parsley, olive oil, 4 slices of chopped bacon, and butter butter beans then served it with ziti for his dinner. He enjoyed it for 2 days and while it smelled like the 7th cloud of heaven (heaven smells a bit like bacon in my world), I didn't have it. It is such a quick meal that I can have it when I come back to eating. If I come back to cooked foods.  Still not decided.

I will blog again later, but I am enjoying my OJ with a touch of mango, for breakfast (and it is almost noon!)

PS- No. No stinky Pee from raw asparagus juice!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Day 37: Headaches ache

I have had a mild headache since yesterday. I guess it is either a symptom of detox or the lack of glasses (that are already 4 years old) at work. I am sure it is a combination of the two. So tomorrow, I have an eye exam to get some fancy new specs.

I juiced a whole bunch of giant red globe grapes for breakfast (a first) and they were so good, but so sweet. It was sweeter than soda. I really took until noon to finish breakfast. For lunch (around 3:30) I had young coconut water (again) and this one was especially delicious. I got the lid off in such a way that the meat was still intact and only the shell peeled off the top. It was cool, but I didn't have the camera to take a photo. Ah well.

I came home and made the hubby ravioli, a quick tomato sauce, and then decided it would behoove me to make a juice for myself. I know it was late (after 8:30), but I needed to start getting in the juicing dinner habit again.  I made asparagus celery cucumber, and boy was it green. It tasted very mild, not at all like the taste of cooked asparagus. I am not sure about that weird smelly #1 thing yet (have not digested that far, but I will let you know if the same holds true for raw juiced asparagus).

My thoughts today have been about extending this or not, raw food or not, vegan or not, clean eating or, you get the point. I think I am obsessing over the end and not focusing on the present again. So I took a few deep breaths and noticed that my pants are falling off (yay!) and my bra is too big (boo!). I need to go shopping soon for some new things so I don't look like I am wearing another person's clothes.

What am I forgetting to tell you? I am not sure. Does anyone have questions? A topic started that I haven't already covered? I think I need a prompt for tomorrow. Thanks in advance!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Day 36: Do I go for broke?

When I started researching fasting, juicing, and the like, I came across this thing (I mentioned on my resources page) called Juice Feasting. Basically it is drinking lots of green juices (like 1500 calories worth) a day for 92 days.  There is a daily course that goes along with it, and I am not sure about the finer points (as I did not pay for membership to read the tons of articles), but it seems like an interesting idea.  I have watched many YouTube video blogs about this and became very inspired by other people's processes. 

In watching them, I began to think that 92 days was crazy long and I would never be able to do it.  Now that I am on day 36 myself, it seems far more doable.  92 days.  Hmm. I am not convinced that my body wants that, but I will make my decision around day 50. For now I am all in for 60 days.

In juice today - Pineapple sickle pear (yum) and the water from one young coconut.  I know. Not enough. I am not drinking enough juice. I have to do more. I am getting bad with making juice for lunch in the morning an am deferring to coconut water. I don't mean to, I just get home and get the hubby's food ready and I say forget my juice...I'll be fine.  Today I was because I went to visit my best friend and chat. I did not get home till almost 9pm, so I had some Yogi Healthy Fasting tea with a bit of local honey. I have a bit of a headache (all day working with my eye glasses at home on my table). I am getting to bed.

Night all.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Day 35: Pink Coconut Water?

I opened a fresh young coconut to this lovely shade of pink lemonade this afternoon. The "meat" was jelly like and pinkish. It was so young there was little by way of flesh. I was hesitant to drink it, but it was not the first time it has happened. I of course went to the great Google Matrix and looked to see if it was bad, and all I got was conflicting information. I went with the it didn't taste bad or look bad, so I would have it.  I feel good still so I doubt it was bad.  It was not grey or yellow or cloudy, but it was a bit rosy.  Ah well, it was pretty good still.

I am hungry like a wild animal today. Not sure why, but there it is.  I am having a 3rd juice today. I really want pizza with mushrooms and onions and garlic and maybe sausage.  Yum. Or not.

Anyway, this tomato parsley romain lettuce bell pepper celery juice is totally rad. Not. Ah well.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Days 33 & 34: Weekend Update.

I did not post Saturday because I was tired and went to lay down and fell asleep, waking up Sunday morning and realizing I forgot to blog somewhere around dinner time tonight. Oops.

Not much of note.  Saturday we took the bikes out and went over to the H Mart in Hackensack/Little Ferry. It is a Korean/Asian Market. I found the mother load of Young Coconuts there.  We took home 6 and they were inexpensive....$1.50 each as compared to $2.50 in Whole Foods and $3.99 in Delicious Orchards.  Now I have one a day for the week for under ten bucks. Woo Hoo.

The juices this weekend have been good as usual.  We went to two movies today and I brought my juice in with me.  It was nice having something, but as my husband had hot dogs and popcorn and Reece's Pieces I was wanting the popcorn in a bad way.  I didn't have any, but boy was the temptation there.  I miss chewing  a lot today.  I want to eat just to feel the food in my mouth.  I made Tomato fennel garlic basil parsley and all I wanted was little noodles and beans in to for some minestrone soup! I guess I have time for that later.

By the way...Date Movie and Hot Tub Time Machine are both really funny and very much worth it.  I was hysterical through Date Movie.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Day 32: Friday

Ugh. I feel great and I worked from home today, but I am so blah tonight. I am tried and it is 10:30pm and I haven't blogged and I am fighting to think of some brilliance to write. Aurgh.

Ok. I drank watermelon pineapple mango juice for breakfast, great as always. Then I went out at lunch for a ride on my motorcycle to the Indian Grocery to look for green coconuts. I found them, and they are about $1.50 less than they were at Delicious Orchards, but they are still in the green husk and I have no idea of the quality of the water.  I will try it tomorrow.  I had the last husked one for lunch when I got home and it was super good.

What I am thinking about today is not eating the junk food in the house.  When we had people over last week we had chips and snacks for them, but the leftover bags are sitting out. I tossed them today when I found myself looking at them. I thought maybe my husband would want them and that is why they sat all week, but when it was clear he wasn't interested (and I was starting to get more interested) I tossed them. Well, I actually crushed the potato chips and flushed them. It was cathartic, but I am in a bored lull with my juices. I have been good and stayed away from carrot and beet juices because of the sweetness, but I rhink I have to break them out tomorrow because I need a change.  After that bad night two weeks about on beet apple juice, I doubt I will be able to drink the beets again, but I will try.

It is almost 11pm, so I am off to bed. I am going to take a bit of B Complex tomorrow, maybe it will cheer me up!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Day 31: I am greener already...

Happy Earth Day! Green Juice Power! Photo-heavy post!


This is me right now with lunch. The right is my super delicious watermelon pineapple mango juice.

Today marks the first day of the second half of my fast.  Up until now I have been juicing, doing a little walking and stretching, and a few instances of ballet/pilates. Today I am revving up for mild toning exercises, body resistance mostly, and am logging my steps for the pedometer challenge at work.  I got off the scale after my shower this morning and I am down 35lbs (about 16kg or 2.5 stone) and I feel great.  I did not want to get out of bed this morning, but after I was up, showered, dressed, juiced and frantic, running around looking for my lost car keys and found them inside the Vitamin Water case under the kitchen table, I was pumped for the day (and late to work).

I realized today that my status updates on Facebook may sound like I am on a clean living program, otherwise known as a 12-step, or AA, or maybe some drug rehab program...31 days clean! LOL! Well, in a way, I guess I am in a rehab of sorts. I am detoxing, yes, I am sticking to a set program, yes, I am dealing with emotional baggage, yes, I am having cravings for all that bad stuff, yes. Do I feel great - hell yes!

With that said...Here is are some full shots my coworker and talented amateur photographer friend Victoria Sonshine Pasher took today in our courtyard at work:

The shirt doesn't do it justice as it is a bit baggy, but I think That is a great thing!

You know that green juice I had in photo 1? Well it looks like that when you shake it, otherwise it seperates... it is romaine and green lettuce, red veined swiss chard, green bell pepper and garlic...
  I am not brave enough to taste it yet...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

DAY 30: And the envelope please....

It is all downhill from here baby. If I wasn't pumped before today, today is a reason to celebrate. Who knew I would make 30 days? Not me.  Especially not the way I was a month ago. I read on the 92-day juice feasting website that for every day you fast, your body goes back in time 120 days. If this is true, 30 days of fasting equals 3600 days, or almost 10 years! Happy 21st birthday to me. At this rate, on day 60 I am going back to being a pre-teen (oh I hope I don't get that awkward phase thing with the weird fuzzy 80s hair)!

Anyway, This morning blog is sponsored by my pineapple watermelon strawberry juice because, well, just because. I could be a fruititarian. Ok, maybe not that drastic, but now is the time when I need to think about what my diet is going to consist of when this fast is over.  I feel really great. I think I am looking better than I have in years (as my best friend said, I am less puffy).  So what to do?

Logic says there is something to raw foodism, that is eating food in its natural and unprocessed state.  This is an extreme form of veganism. Raw foods equates to food that have not been heated at temperatures above 104 °F (40 °C). Different textures are achieved by how the produce is treated (dehydrated, mashed, pulped, fermented, sprouted, etc). I know from all my reading that there are many benefits to this way of living, but I am not sure I can go 100% raw.

I do like meat and don't have huge hang-ups about being omnivorous. I have canine teeth and incisors to deal with flesh.  Maybe I will be more choosy and when I do eat meat I will seek out local, organically raised meat, grass-fed beef, and not do the mystery meat offered by fast food restaurants and most stores. I can see this as being an expense, but there is nothing to say that I need to eat meat like I used to (at every meal almost). I could limit myself to meat once or twice a week, limit dairy to almost none (as I think I have a big problem with dairy), and limit my grains some. I could do a 50% raw, 30% cooked, 15% grain, and 5% meat diet.  I would love cooked veggies right now.  What I wouldn't give for a baked potato with the roasted cilantro hot sauce we gave away at the wedding!

I'll catch you later, but I would love some feedback. How much meat do you eat? Have you ever considered a change in diet before?

74JE5WJZNUK5

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Day 29: Great Day.

I rode my motorcycle to work today without incident. It was a beautiful day for a ride.  At work they were having a carpool event so if you came in a car with more than one person, by bus, bike, or, in my case, bad ass chopper, you got a free breakfast pass to the cafe. Now, I am not eating, but I'll use it someday.

I had pineapple strawberry juice for breakfast. Yum. I really need to mix things up a bit, eat when I get home...but I haven't. It has become usual to not have dinner juice. I can't face it because it is so late when I get around to making dinner that I don't want to eat. I don't want to eat after 8pm, it is just not good.

Anyway, I had a nice green juice for lunch...celery cucumber lemon parsley. I rode over to Nyack Main Essentials again and got a small. When I was outside having my juice a guy rolled up on his Hover-Round chair and started talking to me about my ride.  It was funny. Then another biker pulled over to look at my bike and when I went to turn to the dude in the hover chair, he was gone. There was nowhere he could have buzzed off to in such a short moment, but he was like a ninja.

In other more-than-you-want-to-know news, ever feel like you are a record stuck on the same song? Make that MP3 on repeat? Or like National Lampoons European Vacation..."Look Kids, Big Ben." Welcome to my world. My monthly adventure on the crimson highway has turned into an endless loop. I'd kinda like to get off the (seemingly) endless circle and enjoy the rest of the trip, you know? I think this where fasting meets PCOS. Oh yeah...I don't know if I ever talked about the PCOS....

I have Polycyctic Ovarian Syndrom. It is marked by an imbalence in hormones and cysts that form in my ovaries instead of eggs. I have had it since I was a teen.  I have been with my husband for 12 years and not even a scare of unplanned pregnancy.  My doctor says it hurts my chances of ever having kids, though there are drugs and "procedures" that may help. I don't know about you, but the thought of "drilling" out my organs is not something I want to put my body through. So for now, I need to lose weight, and all signs point to this helping "fix" me so I may be able to have kiddos.  But things are looking up. One of my symptoms, acanthosis nigricans, in my case dark underarm skin, is way better. In fact, it is almost normal now. The other symptoms like debilitating cramps, have not appeared this month at all. So maybe this excessively long cycle is my body's way of getting back to functional? I will give it till the weekend, then I am calling the Doc.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Day 28: As if I need a reason to go on with this...

You know, it is amazing how supportive the people in your life are, no matter how far removed, how much time has past since your last in-person meeting, how deep the friendship.  It really is.  When you put yourself out there for the world, laying naked (if you will), so that your journey or process or trial is exposed, your network will functionally support you and give you the feedback you need to not feel quite so, um, nude.

That is what I am feeling today. Pineapple mango orange apple juice is glorious on a Monday - better than coffee ever was. The positivity and the love and the confirmation are so important for me in this fast. I sometimes feel the urge to cheat and am reminded by one kind word, a simple "like" on FB, that it I am so much the better for being strong.  And boy do I feel strong today. I am on fire, ready to make this world my bitch. Okay, well, maybe not THAT strong, but I am going to kick some Green Juice ass tonight when I get home.  Then maybe when I am through I will do a pilates video and walk.

What more to say today? Well, for starters, I am nearing the half-ways point of this thing, I am down 33 lbs, my skin is clear and glowing, and I feel better than I have felt in a long time.  It is as simple as that. Clearly when you put nothing but fresh, raw veggies and fruits into your body, good things happen.  I am aware I will reach a point where I might not feel so swell (like this past Saturday), but coming back to this blog, reading my own words, and then seeing the support from my friends and readers is priceless to me. I immediatly can feel up and with it again. Now for some glamor shots:

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Day 27: Shortest Blog Ever!

Felt better.  Went for a long walk in Colts Neck with Hubby and the dog. Went food shopping at Delicious Orchards. Drank Water with Lemon and had water from one young coconut. Discovered sugar cane sticks and chewed on them for the day. Work in the morning, rats. Night All.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Day 26: Lazy lazy lazy

We entertained friends today, having an indoor picnic since it was threatening rain all day. They guys all had sandwiches and I make tuna pasta salad for them. It looked great. I had pineapple mango apple juice for breakfast and while they were eating, I had tomato sweet potato celery jalepenio shallot dandalion basil juice. It sounds like a crazu mix (and looks a bit like mud) but it was delicious. For the most part.

I also found myself in that pretzel licking mood and de-salted 3 pretzels and washed it down with another almond chocolate nut milk. I am hearby saying that having that nut milk yesterday has been my downfall for the weekend. All my cravings are back, they are going full-force. I am like crazy hungry. I want to eat everything.

Needless to say that it I wish I would not have listened to that one blog that said they used nut milk when they were feeling like they needed to lose slower. It has made me nuts. Either my metabolism or digestive system or something is burning high today because I want to tear through the leftovers like a shark.

I want a blankie and to forget this day. I am not having a great one. (If I refect, I see how my emotions and body are feeling because I should not have put that into it.)

Friday, April 16, 2010

Day 25: Nut Milk just sounds dirty...

Hahaha....

Today I had mango pineapple apple orange juice for breakfast (again, totally yummy).  I nursed it all day though.  Aroung lunch I had a small organic Almond chocolate milk. It was verry yummy, very very yummy, and I think all so wrong.  I read about using nut milk if you are losing weight too fast, to try to slow it down, so I tried one to try and slow my loss as I lost 30 lbs so far.  It was something dangerous. I had another serving for dinner.  I think that is the last I have it as it tasted like chocolate heaven. I have OD'd on it today and I feel a bit zingy. I have 2 more single servings left in the fridge. I think I will give them away if I can't resist (but they are good till November, if I want to save them.)

I went for another session with my colonic lady today.  She loves my Vibram Five Finger toe shoes. Aside from our lengthy conversations about my shoes, she chatted my up about how the fast is going...I think really well.  She had once done a fast for two weeks at a retreat center and she gets how this long fast is tough but cleansing. I won't go into details again, but she says things are looking good with my fast so far.

Woot to 30lbs gone!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Day 24: You put the Lime in the Coconut (water)

What a beautiful day! Even though I have been struggling these past 2 days with some major Feed-Me cravings, I am happy to report yet another on-fast day.  Twenty four days strong.

This morning I juiced up 1/2 a mango, 1/3 a pineapple and 1 red delicious apple for the most wonderfully delicious breakfast juice.  If I had to only juice these kinds of liquid nirvana this fast would be the best.  Unfortunately, that is not the case. Too many sweet juices upset your body balance, not to mention your insulin levels. So one a day, not more, of pure fruit goodness.

For lunch, I had the water from one young coconut. A young coconut looks like this in the store:

they are usually in the husk, a cone shaped top and a flat bottom. You have to use a knife and cut the huck off the top 1/3 of the coconut, shaving it off down to the outside of the shell, then stick a heavy knife in and ease the top off so it ends up like this:

Then you stick a straw in and enjoy. If you were eating solids, you can eat the flesh, it is softer and thinner than an old coconut, and it is easy to scoop with fingers or spoon. It was really good, cool and refreshing. I want another!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Day 23: My Lucky Number

I am crazy tempted by food today. I am hungry for meat, for fried food, for seafood... just after lunch till right as I type this I am freaking obsessed with those images. I don't know if it is some mental purging on my part, but I am all sorts of nutty tonight. I also went to Rita's Italian Ice to get some lemon ice for the hubby, and I almost got a coffee custard. No really, I almost got it.

I was in line at the window and was thinking "Hey, I don't have to report it to my blog" and "If I just get the kids size, it'd be like nothing..." WTF?! I couldn't believe those thoughts were going through my head.  I would never really sabotage 23 days like that, but I didn't know I wasn't going to order till the woman asked "Is that all?" I was going to order the kids cone until she gave me the total and I shook myself.  It is so stupid, but I am going to learn from this and maybe by tracking these thoughts I can look back at the end of this fast and figure my head out. 

I felt otherwise productive today. I has pineapple(squared) juice for breakfast and I have to admit my love of pineapple. I love love love it.  I also tried tomato leek celery basil juice for lunch. I took 2 nice organic tomatos, a half a leek (split lengthwise), 3 stalks of celery, and a large handful of fresh basil. It made a lot of juice, but it was really quite good. I love how leeks are like onions and garlic together. I never had them before juicing them, but boy are they good. I think split lengthwise and grilled would be good (there I go again).  I was hungry enough for dinner tonight (like I haven't been a lot), so I made some carrot ginger.  It is too gingery, but passable.

Well, what kind of silly thought pass through your mind about food?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Day 22: Workin' from home

Good day. This photo-heavy post comes courteously from me to you as I am working from home in order to have the trim and moldings stained at the house. Here I am working on the secretary in our front room (with our media behind me). I was on a conference call, pardon the headset. Oh, and if your didn't realize, no make-up goes on when it is just me and the laptop at home. Though, I think you can really see how nice my skin is (she says as she rubs her cheek); touch it...you know you want to. :)
 
This morning, though I was home, I didn't have time for a mixed juice, so here are the remnants of the beautiful pink lady apples I juiced for breakfast.
After working for the morning away, I decided to take a stab at using the Kitchen-Aid juicer attachment for my mixer. It is a screw-type juicer, perfect for greens. It took me about 30 minutes to make one damn glass of juice! It was messy, slow, and annoying.  I have spinach all over the place.  When I was finally done, I seemed to have a lot of juice, but it was pulpy and (for lack of a better [or real] word) gloopy.  So I strained the "juice" through 4 layers of cheese cloth.  The end result of kale-spinach-cucumber was not ugly.
It was a nice shade of liquid health.  I mean really....if you drink this you know you are getting a big dose of goodness.  Straining all the little bits of spinach and kale out really made it smooth. The cucumber makes it light.  Kale is very high in beta carotene, vitamin K, vitamin C, lutein, zeaxanthin, and reasonably rich in calcium. Spinach is a rich source of vitamin A (and especially high in lutein), vitamin C, vitamin E, vitamin K, magnesium, manganese, folate, iron, vitamin B2, calcium, potassium, vitamin B6, folic acid, copper, protein, phosphorus, zinc, niacin, selenium and omega-3 fatty acids. So who says I need to take additional vitamins?
Bottoms up!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Day 21: Habit formation

I thought today would be a good day to talk about this little goal I had. Remember my earlier post about that mentor from college?  Well, Dr. Rob Gilbert also said "If you do something everyday for 21 days straight, you will form a habit." Now, I am not sure how true that is, but I have had that little gem in my mind for some time now, waiting for day 21 to say -- I did it. I think this is the first thing I have consistently done that wasn't go to work/go to school/shower etc. Haha. If feels good. With this in mind I begin the next third of this fast.

Today I made some apple orange juice and it was quite good.  I used 3 granny smiths and 2 oranges and it wasn't quite the full container I am used to, but it was enough.  I did not have time to make a lunchtime juice, so I sent out to DePiero’s Country Farm near my work and got fresh squeezed OJ and a coconut. I also have been having my nutritional supplements, so I feel I am doing everything I can to keep up with my body.

Can I tell you how happy I have been these past 3 weeks? Sure the first few days were a bust, but when I got in the groove, I feel so good and -- dare I say? -- joyful. I had such a great weekend, even with the bout of sick I felt coming on Saturday night, that my waking hours have been filled with happiness. I just feel it welling up sometimes.  Maybe it is the Spring, but I was bouncing around in love with the weather and with just doing not much of anything special.  Spring fever perhaps, but I can't really describe the tingly happiness that wants to come out.

I also thought I should post some photos, just for comparisons sake.

Here is me before I started:
Okay, so maybe the balloons are a bit much, but the things I do to make my sister laugh on her birthday...

Here is me from the weekend:

I already see it on my face.  And the side note that my clothes are too big and my hubby is showing signs of malnutrition (not really, just leaning down since I am not cooking as much for him and he has to fend for himself):
(PS - I am not the one with the wild chin squirrel)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Day 20: Sunday Funday

We took a ride up to Bear Mountain for a while since the weather wa so nice. The spring is so energizing. I felt better when I woke up this morning, but not wanting to push it, we took the car. If you have never gone, it is a great ride and very scenic. I tried to have the rest of my juice from last night with some flax oil for breakfast, but I couldn't do it.I had a few sips and hit the water for the rest of the day. I guess some days it works, sometimes not.  So I had H2O for most of the day and when dinner rolled around, at his cousins house, I bought a Raw drink (that was not really raw) from Fairway.  It was cucumber pineapple and I had half. It was alright, too sweet, but it was pretty good.  Water was most helpful today. I felt really good all day, but I have a headache now, from wearing my hair in a tight ponytail and hat all day. A hot shower and bed for me.

Overall, I had a great weekend, but I am beat.  I promise to blog more tomorrow. Night!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Day 19: Get on your bike and ride...

Hubby and I took a ride out 17 today into NY. It was fun, but windy. I just wanted to hop on for a bit and have a little blog for now, so I am keeping with my commitment to blog daily. We also went to Nyack Main Essentials, the juice bar I went to the first day of my fast, and had some wheat grass and some Beet Apple juice. On the way home I felt car sick. I think I may have the bug my dear hubby had this week. I feel nauseous at the moment.

Other notes: I had watermelon apple juice for breakfast and lunch, watched my hubby have some really great food from the Mexican Bagel Stop this morning and Bubba's Dogs for Dinner.  Part of me wants cheezy hot dogs for my first meal off fast, the other part of me laughs at how silly that is.  I am also toying with the idea of White Manna in Hackensack, Bella Pizza in Calstadt, Steve's Steaks on RT 17, etc. It is just mind games.  The mind games are just heavy today. I think I need to lay down and maybe I will feel better for a while.

Oh, and an admission: Yesterday I was too lazy to make juice for dinner and I had taken a few pretzels and licked to salt off them. Ick, I know. I didn't eat them, but I sucked the salt off of 2 pretzels. It took me quite a long time though they were small pretzels.  I think it was because I did not have celery or another high sodium veggie juice for a few days in a row. I think I needed the salt. I am ashamed, but I tossed them after they were licked clean. (and am dealing with if that was illegal on this fast)

Friday, April 9, 2010

Day 18: Fake it, until you make it

I had a mentor in college. I didn't meet him till my senior year, when I stumbled upon his "yoga" class, trying to get rid of the pesky 1-credit gym class in a manageable manner. He is a sports psychologist and motivational speaker, running a hotline with daily 3 minute messages to motivate and aid your path to success, whatever path that may be for you. It always amazed me how he could commit to leaving these messages every morning, 6742 mornings in a row so far (as of today).  This man has tenacity and a commitment that I look up to. He has always motivated me towards my goals.

When I was in my last semester of college, I really wanted to speak at graduation. Not because I am in anyway a great public speaker, I don't yearn for spotlights and fanfare-- I had a message to deliver. We graduated the May after 9/11, and I mark this as important because I lost one of my best college friends in the attack. She was an English major, like me, a part-time night class taker, like me, chunky and full of fun, like me. We had a lot in common. Even if we were in different classes, we would always meet up at night and discuss school, life, whatever. When I didn't see her in September, I shrugged it off as just missing one another.  When my English adviser told me Shari was in one of the towers, at Cantor (a job she only took recently), I was a mess. She should have graduated with me, she should have had her place at graduation too.  So, this in mind, I applied, wrote an essay, and was mentored the whole way through by this "yoga" teacher when I took up his offer of being a class project.

His classes were 80% about motivation and personal development, 20% actual yoga. I don't think we did any actual moves for the first 1/2 of the semester. Yet he coached me in public speaking, made me give my interviews in front of the class, give the many drafts of my speech to my audience of yoga students, urged me to give my essay out to them for feedback. I was a project for that class.  It worked. By telling everyone my story, her story, by talking about it all the time and listening for feedback, both encouraging and constructive, I made it to the finals. In my last interview with the faculty board, I lost composure after I was asked to relate Shari's story to the panel, and then asked some questions that really shook me, but I survived. Even though I was not chosen in the end, I still made it to the final 3.

I learned a lot from this man back then, and now that I am writing this, it seems his teaching is affecting my journey today, though he doesn't know it.  So I repeat what works: I am telling everyone about this fast.  I am more open and expressive about my feelings and experiences than I usually am, and it is working for me, it seems, again.  I guess this blog is my public speaking experiment. My self-project.  It is funny, because it has been a while since I have intentionally thought back to the things I learned from that man. I tell myself "Fake it till you make it; be it till you become it," (something he said so many times it is hard to count), when I find it hard to drink the sickly colored juice, or when toss a veggie that is better left unjuiced, into the machine.  If I keep drinking it like I like it, eventually I will.  In the meantime, I know it is doing my body and mind well.  In many aspects of my life I repeat his mantra, and soon enough, it manifests.  If you act it, you can become it.  I have progressed in my job from talking about my work like I know what I am doing, to actually knowing what I am doing, because I talk about it so much. It is a recipe for success.

So this post is dedicated to Dr. Rob Gilbert, who gave me many tools to use on my journey, and whose words often playback in my head when I am faced with a challenge.  Call his hotline, put it in your cell phone now, you won't regret it.
~~~~~~~~~
Success Hotline: 973-743-4690

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Day 17: You know those people?

On my mind today are those people. You know those people. We all have our own version of who they are, and why they seem so, I don't know, unreal.  I guess you can take that in both a positive and negative manner, but since I am all about the positive, I'll give you the negative in a small, almost cute form. The people who amaze me with their utter stupidity and rudeness:

The hubby and I were out at Bed, Bath, and Beyond one day a year ago (or maybe more, let's say about 25 pounds ago). We came up to the checkout, got in a line (because you know how those places can be), and proceeded to wait.  We get behind this woman and her very cute little girl who happened to be sitting in the cart facing us. I was talking to my husband, totally having a great day (I mean, who wouldn't at BBB?), and suddenly this little angel (ringlets and all) yells at the top of her darling little lungs "LOOK AT THAT FAT LADY!"  I was startled and looked at her, only to see she was pointing her wicked little finger directly at me. Fuck.  Now everyone starts looking because the little monster is continuing to scream that over and over and over. Whispers and stares, all at me, and what am I to do?  I was appalled that this woman didn't even go to smother that devil she called a daughter. I'd put a muzzle on her, maybe after I slapped her demon mouth with my pudgy left hand. Her mother, clearly Rosemary herself, took a half interested, half disgusted, look at me and continued to pay with her little hellion child pointing and still making her proclamation. Dude! I saw you look at me. We made eye-contact. Hello? Rude much? She says nothing to the little beast and the echos of Fat Lady follow the both of them out the door.

Needless to say there went my day, week really. I recall that day fondly now, well maybe not, but I can say that this same memory came flooding back to me today when I realized I lost 25 pounds. Shit, I thought, only 25 lbs. Ha! For a normal person 25 lbs is a big achievement. Shucks, for me I should see this as a milestone.  But no, that comment came back to me with a vengeance. I focused on how I was back to being that fat lady and not on how I am changing my life. 17 days ago I must have been a wildebeest. God, it shouldn't bother me as much, but stuff like that hurts and sticks.  Anyway, this brings me to those other people, those other people that I think of when I want to get out of that funk.Those other people that I want to be.

Those other people are the ones that amaze me with their super-human powers. You must know some of those people. I am amazed by those people that devote their whole being to doing something they see as great. They give their vision their all. They manifest their destiny. They make shit happen.  I'm talking about the athletes who are at the top of their game, the artists who immerse themselves in their medium and produce breathtaking art, the writers who write and write and write without giving up, the people who take risks and live their lives fully. Those People.  When petty thoughts like that of that filter-less little child get to me, I try to think about all those other people that energize me and who would never focus on the negative people that only point out their flaws. I mean, really, those kinds of people wouldn't suffer the detractors but use them as fuel to ignite the flames of their passion. They are not looking to be burdened with those thoughts, but instead use or dispose of them as they see fit, because they are concentrating on their craft and the important things in their lives. I admire that focus and determination and risk in people. All of that seems much more fun than berating myself for losing 25 pounds.

I mean, really... it is a lot, and in too short of a time perhaps. I have more to go, but the journey there is something to relish, to focus on and enjoy. I need to stop thinking of things that are destructive to my progress and commitment and start seeing all the wonderful that is the path. In fact, just committing and continuing, I am becoming one of those people I have always admired. I always wondered what it would be like to have drive and determination. For now, this one fast is the beginning of something much larger for me. It is the unfolding of that unreal (in a good way) person inside of me.  (thinking in writing, thinking in writing, that is all this is so far)

Who do you admire?

Juice: Today, Watermelon pineapple pear.  Delicious.  For lunch, brocolli, celery, carrot (bleck!) I drank half and am now having Asain pear, apple, and half a peach. It is way too sweet, but it is good and is hitting the spot because I am hungry. Actually, I am tempted by food and just wanting to chew and swallow the raviollis hubby is having. Ah well, in time, maybe, I will have them.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Day 16: And the Wheel in the sky keeps on turning

Today begins the second quarter of my fast. It is amazing how fast this fast has been going! Well, maybe the first few days felt like an eternity, and maybe the days getting longer has made the days stretch on and on, but to think that I have survived and thrived this long on juice and water is really interesting. What is even more interesting is how easy it has become to juice and how less tempting it is to just chow down.  Go figure.  I could have eaten a million things between here and there, but my desire to stick-to and beat this lard-ass into submission is ever-increasing.

My reasons for this are not totally weight-loss, though it is an added benefit. I want to rid myself of the all-to-prevalent crutch of medication that is becoming such a necessary part of my life that I often panic myself into an asthma attack without it. I have had to rely on these meds, in ever increasing dosages, since I was a pre-teen.  It sort of sucks. No, it really sucks.  I remember a time back when I played softball as a kid and my coach and best friend's father, nicknamed me Speedy because I ran sooooo slowly and was so out-of-breath that I couldn't run all the laps the other girls did. This was before I actually was diagnosed and given meds. I was an active kid, really I was. I took 13 years of ballet, 5 of tap, and 6 of jazz. One year I think I was in 5 or 6 dances in the recital because I took so many extra classes. I played softball. I loved to roller-skate. I sucked in air till they realized what was wrong, then I felt better when they realized I needed meds.

I must have gone through 20 different kinds of inhaler. Whatever was pushed by the phama rep I guess. I still landed myself in the hospital a few times, no amount of albuterol letting me breathe.  I think my lungs have become so dependent on these external medications that it got lazy. I am still talking the medications for now, because I tried to just stop and my lungs said "Oh no you don't!"  So I will wait and ween.

This fast is a detox of sorts. I am trying to fill my body with good things, remove the processed foods so my system goes back to what it was built to digest.  I can't tell you how good I feel without some disbelieving me.  I know it sounds a little New Agey to say this, but on some levels, I think this is a fast for my soul. (Sheesh, it does sound a little trippy-dippy.)

So to the juice: Last night I did purple kale, romaine lettuce, a red bell pepper, and a half a leek.  It was black-green.  You know when you are a kid and doing watercolors and have that cup of water? Well, it looked like a really over-used paint cup, one that had its own color because there was more paint to water in it.  It was not bad tasting though.  It was a little earthy, but the leek made it oniony or garlicy, that is a very leek taste.  It felt like a glass of nutrients.  I think I will have the same tonight.  I did the pineapple watermelon juice again for my day juice (this time I made it at noon).  In all, today is a repeat of yesterday. On a side note, I made my hubby bacon cheese burgers with fries and baked beans for dinner last night and today he is sick. Food is trying to escape out both ends. I feel bad, at first I thought it was something I made, but then I realized my brother-in-law and nephew just had a stomach bug and we saw them for Easter. Maybe it wasn't my cooking.  In a way I am glad I am fasting, since those burgers smelled and looked so good on the grill yesterday, I am glad I didn't eat them!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Day 15: Sweet and Sore.

I am black and blue today. Ah well. I feel it. I can only imagine what a high speed fall off my bike would be!  Anyway, I am happy to report that I am 15 days in and feeling good otherwise.

I had to work from home today, because I am so sore I didn't want to get up. I am just now (at 3pm) having my first juice. I had some water in the morning, but was not hungry. I know I should have had something sooner, but I was having a juice procrastination. I am not sure why that is. Maybe it is the removal of my normal routine and the addition of the sore muscles. Well, when I got around to it, I cut myself a very ripe pineapple--so heavy and sweet and yellow--and a 1/4 of a mini watermelon. I juiced it with the rind with a 1/4 of the pineapple. It is not too sweet (because of the rind) but it is delicious. It is a beautiful shade of pink.

I want to say that I really appreciate the support. It is great not hearing naysayers and negativity.  Going into this, I thought people were going to fight me on the process.  Sure I knew people were going to think I was nuts, but my journey is not as unique as they may think. Lots of people out there have done the long fast, and lots of people make big changes in their lives during the process.  For me, it is a big change not going to food or fridge when I am stressed or angry or happy or whatever. At very least, that is one thing I am learning about now.  I used to think that I wasn't one of "those people."  I thought I was above such base emotional food issues.  I have realized that removing the food from the equation allows me the distance to read how I feel at any given moment more easily. I have to own the emotion or feeling or situation and not distract myself with taste and swallow.

I saw this most recently at Easter at my sis-in-law's house. The picky foods were out and I could have pinpointed the number of times when I would have reached for them. I noticed the moments of boredom, the lulls in conversation, those moments when my hands wanted something to do, my mouth wanted something to do besides talk.  I can see why people who quit smoking gain weight. They are substituting food for cigs in order to avoid the moments that are uncomfortable or liminal. So what happens when you own your emotions? What is so bad about the moments--or the opposite, what is it about the good moments that make us reach for food?  My guess is that everything in human culture is tied around food, and something deeply ingrained in our DNA, in our most barbaric nature, finds food right up their in importance with family, shelter, and life. Maybe in this modern society, we need to reprogram the very strong connection. Hmmm...

Monday, April 5, 2010

2 weeks done!

Woo.

Besides the accident this morning, I am happy to be at this 2 week mark. I have really tried to stick to this 100%, even avoiding licking my fingers after I packed the Easter ham away for my mom. It has not been easy, but in many ways it has.

Things that I sense are different:
  • Senses - I love to smell things, even food. I am delighting in the scents of food, though the not tasting is difficult. We have been riding past this one pizza place in Carlstadt, that neither of us has eaten at, and the smell hit you in the face and smells like heaven. I want it when I am off fast, or not.
  • Weight loss - I am down 22 pounds. My clothes are looser and I already see changes in my face.
  • Energy - I feel lighter in mind, and calm. Besides the adrenaline in my system this morning, I am not excitable usually. I feel good when I get up, sometimes have trouble, but when I am up, I am not crawling towards the coffee pot like I used to,
  • BO - I stopped using antiperspirant a few weeks ago. The link to breast cancer and the like really concerns me. I started using Toms Natural because I had such a funk. I guess rough living was coming out of my pores. And holy hell my feet...Phew! As of today, it is much less. In all honesty, I think I had a rough day and smell pretty good.
  • Allergies - My seasonal allergies are almost non existent. I have had such issues with my nose and eyes for years now. Suddenly, I am not sneezy or watery. Go figure.
  • Asthma - still sucks. I tried not taking my meds for the first two weeks and it is not good. I think I am going back to the Singular for the next two weeks and see how that goes.

Day 14: Monday mornings suck.

I was set to have a lovely Monday morning commute to work on my bike, when I dumped it while attempting a left turn. I hit a rut in the road where a valve pipe was and took a spill, right in front of a cop. At least he helped me up and got my bike up. Broke my light in the rear, scraped up the left side, and bent the left peg. I am so pissed off and embarrassed because it was a stupid accident. I swear the roads in Lyndhurst are out to get me! The damage is what annoys me. I have less than 300 miles on the thing and I go and take a spill in front of a cop.

Anyway, after a good weekend, lots of temptation, I juiced and have the day set. Apple-Pear for the morning, again a bit sweet, but I need to go shopping because I have no greens in the house after this weekend. So, with my car on hand today, I have no excuse and going to the market after work or at lunch will be a great way to get my mind off the damage to my bike. Enough about that. I have some other thoughts for a post later, so I will get back to blogging when I feel a bit more together.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Day 13: Easter Greetings!

Brunch today with my husband, sister, brother, sister-in-law, 2 nieces, dad, stepmother, grandmother, uncle, and 2 cousins. We took the motorcycles up there, about 30 minutes from my place to my brothers, on RT 17 and the Parkeay. Boy, that was exillerating. Nothing like wearing your Easter clothes, sans jacket, and doing 70 in the fast lane. We all went out to bar/restaurant in Hillsdale called The Cornerstone. It looked like a cool place to hang out on a weekend. They had a big spread, complete with omelet station. I was worried they would charge me even if I didn't eat, but was happy they didn't make a big deal about it, as if lots of people come to their all-you-can-eat brunch buffet and choose not to. I was less tempted than I thought, though I think it was because the food was in another room and I was busy making balloon animals (for the first time in my life) for my beautiful neice. I brought fresh apple juice and made the waitress bring me a wine glass so I could drink from it. If I am going to drink it, I may as well do it from a goblet.

Then we came back home to grab the car and some flowers to visit my hubby's aunt, uncle and his mom. That was nice. I made myself a celery, cucumber, parsley, and green apple juice. I bought some Chia seeds and added 2 tablespoons. This superfood was a favorite of the Aztecs long before they gained fame attached to a pet clay sheep. They form into a gel that is a great fiber supplement, source of Omega 3s, and amino acids. They are really amazing.

Happy Easter to you all. Till tomorrow!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Day 12: I swear I didn't mean to do it!

Oh the horror....

So my hubby and I were out on our motorcycles today, and if you have never been on a bike, it is just fun. The thing is, I was going through water and water and water to deal with the dryness in my mouth from riding. It was not working and I was out of water, so I popped a piece of gum. I needed the moisture. Anyway, we are riding along and then I swallowed the gum without thinking! Immediately after I did it I realized what I did and freaked. I have been avoiding solids and real food and what passed my lips? Rubberized junk! I am so ashamed. It is amazing how you can just swallow gum without a thought. I am so disappointed in myself. So I am so not ever going to put gum in my mouth again. Next time I will just hold water in my mouth all day.

For the Juice, this morning it was apple Pineapple, always yummy! Then I drank some powered greens I got from Whole Foods. They were kinda blah, but it works. I started taking the supplements the nutritionist gave me. The enzymes are for digestion and to help my liver. The parasite assist is to try to get rid of any parasites I may have picked up from bad sushi in my former life. Then some stuff for free radicals. I also added some High-Lignan Flax oil, so I am getting the Omegas and Aminos.

Finially, here are photos of making my dinner, Peach Celery, Cucumber - Yum.




Friday, April 2, 2010

Day 11: TGIF!


You are looking at zucchini, Granny Smith apple, cucumber juice. It is a bit tart, a bit tangy, and thick (surprisingly) from being in the fridge. Not thick like slime, really, but as juices go, this has more of a mouth-feel than others. Now that I wrote "green slime" I feel like I am drinking that slime from Nickelodeon's show You Can't Do That on Television (and this does not make me feel sick as much as nostalgic).

I had pineApple(squared) + Tangelo juice for breakfast and it was just yummy. Fruit juices are yummy, but bad for me, I know. After talking with the nutritional consultant yesterday, I am trying to stick to the alkaline foods to try to get my system a bit more balanced. Lucky me that most of the things I have been eating! I just have to lay off the sweet stuff and take some supplements to kill off the candida that is overrunning my system. I have to lay off those delicious plums! Tragic!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

How does one celebrate 10 days fasting?

I celebrated with colonic and live-blood analysis screening! TMI I know, for some, but I have to say I feel really good. I went to Nick at New Beginnings Holistic Center in Suffern. If you wanted to know more, I'll share, but for now, lets leave it at that. I left with some supplements for my digestion and liver, but in all, he says my blood and immune system look real great. He even said that all signs point to a detox of great proportions happening in my system. My white blood cells are really big and healthy, eating whatever bad stuff is in my system.

The protein issue was a topic of conversation. Here's the deal: I am taking in protein in the form of plant protein for now. It is not a lot, and when you are fasting, taking in protein slows down the detoxification process. You can take in a protein powder in a shake, if you are feeling sick and weak, but if you don't and you are doing alright, your body will go after the weakest and most expendable of your tissues, cleaning house and really attacking the fat stores. It is true that your body does go after its resources of fat and protein during a fast. For me, that is not a big deal because I have plenty to give: I am strong like a bull. Even if I lost all the fat on this body, this same body has been carrying around extra weight for many years. Imagine carrying 20-100 extra pounds all day, every day, for years. I'd bet you'd put some extra muscle on too! However, there is a way to get your body to retain the muscle you want to keep. I am doing some mild toning exercises to trick my body into keeping some of the muscles it may want to go after. For now, it is Pilates and those bar exercises I used to do when I was a little girl in ballet.

But it all comes down to listening and getting more in tune with your body. I am not stupid. If I start getting symptoms of sickness, dizziness, or anything that lets me know I am in danger, I will seek medical attention. For now, my blood work is fantastic, my BP is down, my pulse is great, and above all, I feel really good. The RN I worked with today said that I am basically healthy from all my vitals and am in no danger of staving to death and dropping tomorrow. In fact, she said something I happen to trust - your body is built to survive, and it will let you know when you are in danger. Judging on how I feel now, I could live 100 more years on juice. I feel really, really good after today.

"What's up, Doc?"


Carrot Ginger juice for lunch. I should have done a green juice, but after yesterday's concoction, I could not stomach the idea.

To answer some questions about Protein and fasting, well the short answer is, I am no doctor. All I know about this is from what I read and how I feel.

From my reading: While fasting, you are taking in all the vitamins, minerals, and whatnot that your body needs, as long as you vary the mixtures. For instance, all fruit is a no-no. Same goes for all root veggies (beet, carrot, turnip, parsnip, potato). I aim for a blend of everything. If it is in the produce section, it is going in the juicer. Yes, even the onions (maybe not eggplant). I am avoiding mushy fruits like banana, papaya, mango, and many berries because they are wasteful if you try to juice them. You can take them and blend them with water and strain them through a nutmilk bag, but the time, calories, and wastefulness of these fruits, for me, is pointless. Other things juice very well, so I will add the others to smoothies when I come off the fast.


That said, I juiced cauliflower, onion, and garlic for dinner. Now, I bought the cauliflower because I figured - hey, it'd be alright, a bit like some sauted side dish. I was wrong...





Gag. Ick. Bleck.

Day 10: My first celebration point


Good Day! Today marks my first celebration point so far. *does little day ten dance* It is a beautiful day outside, perfect for juicing, and spring is on tap. This morning it is Black Plum and Red Pear juice for breakfast, pictured it is a little oxidized from being out for a while, but it is still yummy! *does little plum/pear juice dance* I am having a great day, will post more juicing bits later (especially about the day 10 celebratory event of the day!) and leave you with some housekeeping and a random over-sharing from last night's events.

I got a few questions over the past day about the fast in general. I have posted a page with specifics about the tools I use. I will be adding the books and sites I have gone to for research and support. In all, it will be laid out in case you ever had more than a passing curiosity to this fasting thing. If you have comments, suggestions, or experiences you would like to share, please do.

In other events, last night we went to a movie screening for The American, a new George Clooney fueled suspense drama action foreignish film. At this point, it is not my thing, but hey, maybe it will win an Oscar. Imagine an assassin flick full of suspense and a plot to kill the protagonist who is trying to do his last job before he gets out, like the Borne Identity (kinda). Now take that flick and locate it in the mountains and countryside of Italy and include lots of Italian and full frontal female nudity. Got it? Then add in a love interest in the form of a prostitute (or 2) who complicates the protagonists mission. Now pace it really slowly, add lots of dramatic silence, lots of dramatic out-of-focus people watching in the background, lots of sweeping violin music, and then kill any hope of there being any good action aside from the very first scene and, later, one artfully graphic sex scene. It was based on a book (a very in vogue thing to do these past 10 years), so I am sure it is not the authors fault.

Career: Be a tree - grow in place

In an age when research says millennials change jobs 4 times before age 32 an d job sites advise switching companies to advance in your ...