Monday, May 3, 2010

Day 42: Pizza on the brain

I have had loads of cravings through this fast. Some are good (salad, carrots and hummus, grilled chicken, broiled salmon, roasted cauliflower with basil), some not good (burgers, chips, baked brie). Today, pizza. I am craving really good cheese steak pizza with mushrooms and no peppers. I have had that once or twice in my 31 years, and here I am, watering mouth and all, at the mere thought of this greasy cheesy mess. I have been obsessing for the past, um, 6 hours on and off.

What I focus on instead is the ability I have mastered of not running out and getting the craving.  Actually, the fact that I am having definitive cravings at all is amazing. More often than not, before this fast I could never decide on what I wanted. I was so apathetic for food and had vague cravings. Now, at least, I have vivid and specific cravings. Call me crazy, but that is kind of empowering.  Even when I am back on food, I will not be running out to feed my cravings for all the bad stuff, but at least I have a reference and if I do want something specific, I can do my best to replicate said craving in the best way possible.

Gone are the days of fast food. I can say that the thought of chicken nuggets (my previous go-to fast food) is just plain gross. If I am going to have food, I am going to know where it came from and it should look like what it is.  Chickens don't have nuggets, so no more for me.  Grilled, broiled, roasted or baked for me. 

Speaking of food. I think I have come to terms with getting back to real food in 18 days.  I can always do another fast at another time. Not going back after 60 days is my procrastinating again. If I put off solids, I don't have to change my real food habits. As they are what landed me in this state of current repair, I know I have to enact specific changes. Therefore, I am focusing on something that helps me balance my hormones and cause my metabolism to kick into high gear.  I want to keep this party going.  I need protein in some form as I feel the drain when I exercise right now.  In any case I am happy I made a decision.

Breakfast: Watermelon juice
Lunch: tomato fennel parsley pepper juice
Dinner: TBD (maybe something with cucumber)

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