Do you know that little voice in your head that talks you into things? Mine talked me right out of the 8:30am and 10:30am classes on Sunday, but I bitched it out and took it to the 5pm Bikram class. Between the whining and moaning, that little voice got all quiet and when my heart was the only thing I heard beating in my ears, I cheered.
The class was packed, and that was great. I was more focused on myself than ever before. I think this is partly due to the full mirrors and it is hard to get distracted by how great that other person is in that pose. For a newbie like me, distractions abound, bringing myself into the hour and a half with myself is a challenge in itself.
I am a fidgeter, endlessly fighting the urge to "fix": the creases in my clothes, how they hang on my sweaty body, the insanity of my hair, the towel going from smooth to wrinkled, the sweat in my eyes, etc. My brain sometimes wants to do anything by look in my own eyes in the mirror.
On this last statement, I find the most interesting reflection. In fact I kept telling myself over and over in class, look at yourself, in your eyes, over and over. Why is it so damn hard for me to be still and just look at myself when I am in yoga? I find it helps. I relax my shoulders, correct my position, generally get better into a posture, but mostly I am avoiding my own eyes much of the time. Is it creepy to look into your own eyes the whole time? Is it too much to handle? Am I avoiding myself? Any thoughts?