How many years have passed since I did 4-5 dance classes a week and could plie for hours and hours without the quivering legs? It is hard to believe it was 15 years ago, and boy how my body has changed.
I feel some hope that I will regain that dancer strength because in class tonight, though it was more intense than last week, I did better. I still can only make it through some of the poses and pilates moves, but I can do more than a week ago. I found myself correcting instead of trying to get by in any way possible. I only went down to the mat with the spins twice - and for that, boy am I happy with myself.
However, I totally hate that my job has me sitting at my desk looking at the computer for hours because I am so locked up in the shoulders and hamstrings. I swear it is like a block of wood in my upper back and wayyyyy to tight behind my legs. My hammies are less like rubber bands and more like plastic zip ties.
These are two areas I am constantly fighting in class to release. For instance, when I reach behind my back and interlock my fingers palm to palm, it's all good until I try to straighten out my damn arms. I pull down and away, down and away, and the tightness in my shoulders fights back. Heck, at least I can keep my palms together now; this is an improvement. My arms should look like the later 3 in this video:
In my legs, besides fighting past my belly to grab the floor or my ankles, my knees want to bend because they are so tight. Grab and cup my heels in my hands while straighten out my legs and bringing my forehead to my shins? Oh I am not going to get there for some months or years.
A little bit forward at a time and eventually anything is possible. I think back to my fast and it seemed endless some days. I just kept it up and it seems so long ago now! Progress is found through determination and commitment, a celebration in every step forward be them huge leaps or measured inches.