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Class 7 - Hot Yoga Fusion - Barkan Method

Oh nausea, how I loathe thee.

First-off, Dan is a tough teacher, but he participated in the first half of class (a quite full class) so more props to him.  Somewhere around the Revolving Triangle (Parivritta Trikonasana) and the Standing Seperate Leg Head To Knee Pose (Dandayamana Bibaktapada Janushirsasana), I got a wave of nausea. It was awful. I laid down in Corpse Pose and it made it worse. I breathed, I tried to calm my stomach, I breathed, I tried to get back into postures, it was no use for almost 15 minutes. But I worked through it and didn't leave the room. Eventually, I was able to get back up and finish the standing series and chose not to lie in Corpse while transitioning to the floor series, to avoid getting sick.

I was not parting or anything the night before, though perhaps that Bacon-Party I hosted on Saturday came back to haunt me. (I swear I did not consume that much bacon, but hosted a potluck with the central theme.)

I was feeling some stomach thing during the day at work, so I am not sure it that contributed, but I never want to be like that again.  I am going to another flow class Wednesday, so I will be mindful of what I have to eat at lunch to try to minimize trouble later.

Other than that physical sensation, I am fighting through mental blocks - anger, frustration, sadness -- while I move through poses. I get so pissed at myself, at my body, for not being able to get into a pose properly. I am yelling at myself instead of accepting and moving towards improvement. It is an ugly mess in my head sometimes, and I think the heat of the space intensifies emotions. The frustration that I am not moving forward fast enough is ever-present, but I am working on that. An inch of improvement this week will be a foot at the end of this challenge.

And Sadness. I feel like I am leaking tears instead of sweat sometimes. There are moments, like when I know my head should be on my knee, or when I should be able to stand on my hands, that I curse the extra weight and physical boundaries that impede on my progress. Other people in the room struggle as well, and who really knows what their barriers are, it is just that mine are so visable that it. well... it gets me all emotional.

In the meantime, I know that the more I practice and push myself, the better my nutrition choices are, the further I can push past my physical limitations.  I am considering another juice fast to help speed things along.

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