Skip to main content

Classes 16, 17, 18: Barken meets BikramX2

In the Barken class Thursday night I felt sore, but good. I am not getting the flow portion yet and I modify to my knees a lot. I still am drenched and my heart pounds in my ears. It is funny that the one posture I can totally do with little strain is square pose (agnistambhasana). Because of my thick legs I stack ankle above knee without gaps. My hips have always rotated in a way that allows my knees to fall down in butterfly. I feel success, but know that if I had thin legs, my ankles and knees will have further to go. Still in a room of flexy bendy bodies, it feels like a little win. Sure in fixed firm, kneeling in Japanese style trying to get your butt to the floor between your feet, well, those thick legs totally prevent that from happening.

When I got up Friday morning I ached all over. I walked to the bathroom, towel in hand (because I seemingly shower endlessly these days), well it was less of a walk and more of a waddle with my toes to the ceiling and stiff legs. I felt stiff and while a hot shower helped, it still sucked to move my back.

I got to Bikram and made it through the warm up bends when I felt a pinch in my lower back. It spasmed and I all but yelped. I found myself on the floor rolling into a spinal twist and trying to stop it from freaking out. Shooting pain in my lower back down into my leg consumed me for at least 15 minutes.

Being hot and sweaty and hurting is no fun and it took a lot of my control to keep me in the room stretching my lower back. I wanted to run out of the room, curse some, and go home and take a hot shower. Instead I cycled through those thoughts as I stretched and lay on the mat. I finished the floor series and left to go get an adjustment.

After 30 minutes on the electro-stim machine and a few nice manipulations of my back, knee, ankle and the muscles of my abdomen, I felt a bit better. It ached overnight and in Bikram this morning, but I successfully made it through most of the class.

I try. It is the most I can ask of myself. I try to stop being negative when I tap out for a pose or can't get into a pose in that perfect yoga way. I go until it feels like my heart is going to burst or the room spins. Sometimes I need to regroup. But that is okay. Honor your level the instructor says over and over. I must honor where I am at today and try to give it everything I can so I can progress further in my practice.

Popular posts from this blog

Career: Be a tree - grow in place

In an age when research says millennials change jobs 4 times before age 32 and job sites advise switching companies to advance in your career; they claim "workers who stay with a company longer than two years are said to get paid 50% less, and job hoppers are believed to have a higher learning curve," I'm here to say: try to grow in place.

Last week I celebrated my 9th anniversary with KPMG International; tomorrow is my 38th birthday. I get all reflective around this time of year for sure. I'd like to share the advice I gave a student recently. The power to grow is in your hands.

My path was not direct. I planned on being a writer and a professor. I guess the idea of reading and writing all day and talking to students seemed the ideal nerd-career in my 20s. While in university I worked in business development and in the temp field, moving from company to company on long and short assignments. I worked as a tutor in the school with students of all majors and degree pro…

Day 60: Top 10 Before and After - Number 1

Last Day of my fast! I am so happy. I have my meal of prunes soaking for tomorrow. I am thrilled.


I filmed a bit this morning, but the sound is off. I will post it here anyway.



I went to Nyack Main Essentials, that Vegan Dominican Juice Bar I went to on my birthday 60 days ago.  I had pineapple celery kale parsley lemon ginger juice.  It was really great.  That grapefruit asian pear juice was pretty good too. For dinner, after my interview, I made tomato basil leek parsley celery juice that was great.  Overall it was a great day, and I am looking forward to eating my first solid food in 2 months!

KonMari - Does this blog make me look preachy?

We have too much stuff.


Here is a general statement - we retain a lot of stuff we don't need. Our capitalistic culture wants us to keep buying more stuff. Our culture wants us to keep up with the Jones, to memorialize moments in sourviers, to buy storage solutions for our things, maybe hold grudges and emotional baggage of guilt associated with gifts and hand-me-downs. We keep to preserve but to also avoid loss.
Last night after reading a really hysterical piece of satire about the influx of the KonMari and minimalism into our culture, I started to feel bad that I was step-by-step processing my belongings in this method and it was a bit...gross.
I had that same reservation when I took my first photo for this segment of the blog - my entire wardrobe on my bed.
Can you imagine I looked at this, at one time thankful for the bounty that allowed me all these clothes, but also horrified at my own horde. "Oh, poor me. I have too much stuff and I can't manage it all like a normal…